Saturday, July 24, 2021

The Forge at the Forest of Forever

It was cool to see He-Ro, Vikor, Wun-Dar & Kuduk Ungol. It's too bad she wasn't on a Battle Raptor instead of that chicken dinosaur (I've never liked chicken dinosaurs). 

King Grayskull is a blond White man so black-washed King Grayskull was distracting. There was no reason to blackwash White King Grayskull. But Netflix didn't actually want to show more black characters because Clamp Champ was only in the whole show for 1 minute. They just want to erase the White characters by making two characters black. 

I forgot about Roboto's heart, but they reminded us & it looks nothing like a heart. So they never should have reminded us. But they killed him, so I guess it doesn't matter anyway. He-Ro was supposed to forge the sword, but we can't have a White man help save the day.

Skeletor was ok, until he turned into The Joker to say "ya did good Lynny" wasn't there any voice direction on this show??

I don't know why they decided to do this Greek mythology thing of being able to travel to "Heaven" but for some reason they decided that this place is called Preternia. It doesn't make any sense. Preternia is the past, not Elysium. Anyway, they go to "Heaven" & Teela is still self-centered even when talking to dead Prince Adam. She just can't stop. 

It doesn't matter that they are in Heaven, Teela has to save Adam, of course. He-man leaves Elysium & you think that the show is going to be normal again now that Teela "saved the day" but she didn't, because she lets Prince Adam get murdered. So if you thought He-Man was going to be back, the show wanted you to get that notion out of your mind now. 

So the final body-count on this awful show:

Faker dead
Moss Man dead
He-Man dead
Orko dead
Roboto dead
Prince Adam dead

Kevin Smith wasn't lying when he said he wasn't a fan.

Land of The Dead

I'm no longer excited to see things in this show, because they are going to be ruined.

Even in the 80s show it was well known that Orko was a skilled magician on Trolla, his magic didn't work correctly on Eternia without his wand, that he lost when he arrived. But this is MOTU Revelation & every male has to be broken down. Revelations Orko was an incompetent buffoon his whole life. And why would a Trollan nursery rhyme mention Scareglow?

Then Teela's fear is that He-Man told "everyone" his secret, but it was only 3 people. She can't stop being self-centered for 1 episode. And somehow even Scareglow is scared of her. He should be, once a female character is turned into a Mary Sue, there's no stopping her. If this show is trying to say that Teela is super-human because she is magical by birth, that would explain a lot, but it doesn't make sense considering that there is supposedly no magic (even though there seems to be plenty). And when Teela-Na took over from Kuduk Ungol to became sorceress she had no magical ability.

Roboto finally took off that dumb poncho, but instead of using his laser-axe or twin laser gun, he's just shooting blasts out of his wrist. so that was another disappointment. And he can't defeat the shadow demons without Andra's help. Not even the male robot is safe from Netflix feminism.

I don't know why they decided to change Subternia to be the "land of the dead" it isn't. It's where Whiplash's people the Caligars live & where Lord Dactys & the Speleans lives. But this is written by people who don't know anything about He-Man.

Seeing the Eternia Playset was cool, I can only hope they don't try to ruin it next episode by saying it was built by slaves or it's 3 patriarchal phallic symbols.

The Most Dangerous Man on Eternia

The let-downs continue. Yay Mer-Man, oh he's easily beaten by Man-At-Arms. Yay Roboto, oh he's now a clone of Man-At-Arms. Yay, Tri-Klops vs Beastman, oh Tri-Klops doesn't use his sword, I guess he thinks swords are magic??

"My sun & my moon"? The Game of Thrones reference was really creepy & incestuous. Mark Hamill was good as Skeletor in Episode 1, but in this episode he reverted to The Joker; it was really distracting. Then we get Evil-Lyn turning into Harley Quinn talking about how she wasted her life being with Skeletor.

Just like in some Batman & Superman comics, everyone is insulting the two most important characters. Both He-Man & Skeletor are insulted & disrespected throughout this episode by everyone. Teela disrespects her own father calling him a "broken old man" and she calls him Duncan instead of dad. Even in the flashback, He-Man is rescued by Man-at-Arms & Teela! Again, a normal human, Teela, beating an Aquatican - under water! The show has nothing but contempt for the straight men.

There's no magic left, but Orko is wasting it on light & Evil-Lyn is using her magic like it's normal. And the injured/scarred eye is overdone on this show.

They also keep talking as if they were vigilantes going on adventures. Teela was the captain of the guard, she was a soldier, not an adventurer. He-Man was not some guy going on random adventures, he was protecting Castle Grayskull & the entire Universe, but they talk about it like it was some thing they did for fun. Whoever wrote this obviously doesn't know what this IP is about.

Friday, July 23, 2021

Poisoned Chalice

This show is turning out to be a roller-coaster of excitement & let-downs. Something cool shows up on screen only to be ruined.

It was great to see Stinkor, but then he exhaled his stench which is not how his power works. 

It was great to see Blast Attack finally in a cartoon! Tri-Klops being a cult leader of tech worshipers was interesting but I didn't like Whiplash being turned into a cyborg. They should have used Twistoid or Strongarm instead; that would have made more sense.

They don't even mention how much time had passed since the 1st episode.

Not only did they turn White redhead Lieutenant Andra, black, she's now an engineer. She has nothing in common with Andra except the name, she should have just been the woman from Veridas. Then black-washed Andra started talking like she was from She-Ra & the Princesses of Power. After all the queer-baiting in the rest of this episode, it's clear Revelations is a "spiritual" successor to that show & not the original He-man cartoon from the 80s.

I don't like seeing 2 humans able to over-power robots, cyborgs & mutants. Teela & Andra don't have super-strength so they should have been using strategy not brute force. They did it with Stinkor too. Teela's Swiss Army staff was also annoying. Cringer's name is even more appropriate because that speech about He-Man leaving Eternia in Teela's care was super cringe.

The Power of Grayskull

It started out good. 

Faker tricking the sorceress, Spikor, Night Stalker. Skeletor attacking Castle Grayskull with an army of Skelcons & Hover Robots. Clawful with 13 Landsharks, Trap Jaw with 3 Rotons, Tri-Klops with 22  Jet Sleds and Beastman with 13 Bashasaurus (Someone didn't do enough research on that one)

Finally we are going to see an epic fight with Fisto, Clamp Champ, Man-at-arms, Teela & He-man fighting Skeletor's army! Nope, the fight was over in about 2 minutes. Hardly any fighting.

He-Man is heroic & sacrifices himself to save the universe & apparently dies. Queen Marlena is distraught, crying because her son is dead. When King Randor finds out that Man-at-Arms knew Prince Adam was He-Man, he banishes Man-At-Arms & threatens to kill him!

This apparently is the perfect time for Teela to make the death of someone else - all about her! She starts whining that nobody told her, even though she just heard how Randor didn't know. Then she whines that her life has been hard with monsters & magic, even though that is normal on Eternia. Because when someone dies, what matters is how it affects her. Teela storms off like an angry little girl. 

This selfish Teela will probably have another childish meltdown when she learns that the Sorceress is her birth mother.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Bones to Pick

The Outpost
Season 1 Episode 5

This show is pretty surprising. They aren't doing anything you would expect in a show like this. Of course it means that they are going to need other things to deal with once they burn through these storylines. Luckily they still have the Plaguelings, Greyskins, Calypsum & the Prime Order once they deal with Talon & her vengeance story arc. Hopefully they keep it going. 

They killed the old man that I thought was going to be her mentor. Nope, he's dead. Now the marshal knows she's a black blood. He & Garrett saw the demon. What a mess. And it turns out that she's the royal princess! And the Captain let his own daughter be murdered by the Prime Order to protect her!? Jesus Christ, and that's why the wife killed herself. That is some messed up stuff. 

This show is coming up with some interesting stuff. Of course the marshal did kill that servant girl. Oops. 

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Flogg's Revenge

The New Adventures of He-Man
Season 1 Episode 64

I can't believe the Galactic Guardians are just sitting down to a victory dinner with these 2 idiots. They threatened to destroy Primus. He-Man should be arresting them.

At least we got to see them using their action features again. Optikk had a few lines, more than Kayo. Which is just weird. I don't like how Spinwit was jumping up & spinning without his wings & without his helmet. They shouldn't have been helmet-less on this show. I don't know why they were always doing that on this cartoon.

Then He-Man barely reacted to the fact that those 2 weirdos had a private underground prison/zoo. He should have asked why those beings were being imprisoned there. These two dudes are clearly bad guys, but He-Man is just letting them get away with this. This storyline is really terrible. They should have used the Mytes & Gleanons to showcase the new variants instead of these obvious space villains.